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So since I just joined today, I figured I may as well write something that's been on my mind lately.  My friend and I who are admittedly a bit vein, always make jokes about "the beautiful people's club," that is, whenever something happens to us such as someone letting us pass them in line, getting free drinks at the bar, etc, we laugh and say that it is because we are in the "beautiful people's club." 

I realize as my first post that I may come off the wrong way, but let me begin by saying that my entire middle school and high school life were miserable.  I was the chubby nervous quiet girl.  I wouldn't say I was heavily teased, but only because I tried my hardest to stay out of anything socially related.  My grades were average, I didn't do any sports, nor did I join any after school activities.  I remember walking around the hallways during lunch because I literally had no one to sit with in the cafeteria.  The few friends I did have mostly used me and took very much advantage of me.  The only thing I had going for me in High School was that I had a very nice car that I drove to/from school, so that gave me a bit of positive attention.  Also, as expected, I never went to my prom. 

I happen to be extremely lucky to have been born into a family that had no monetary worries.  My father was the CEO of a pharmaceutical company, and I can't really say I ever was lacking any necessities to live a great life.  So, after graduating high school, I decided to start new.  My parents agreed to pay for an apartment in the next county over, that way I could attend that community college, instead of the one 50% of students from my high school were going to.  I started working out a lot, educated myself about eating healthy, and slowly but surely my confidence and security came along.  Although I know I will get judged for this  (which is what the main point of my article will get to), I had a few things enhanced ... breast implants, porcelain veneers, dyed my hair blonde, started wearing blue contacts every day.  I know that I am still the same person, but to ME, I feel that I look best this way, and the troubles of maintain it are worth it. 

The differences in my everyday life from high school and below compared to college to the present, are ASTRONOMICAL.  The way  I get treated now by members of the opposite sex is much more positive.  I have gotten out of speeding tickets, let in front of people in line just because I had fewer items with them, gotten better deals on negotiable items, etc.  I have certainly learned to use my outside appearance for my benefit.

Although the main point of this is not to talk about the great things that come along with beauty, but the negatives that are often forgotten by onlookers.  Firstly, judgments.  Ok, I can agree that it is human nature to judge.  Yet, what you do with that judgment is what makes the difference.  I personally cant help but judge, YET I never act upon those judgments until I am proven that they were correct.  I know how often people who give me the chance to show them who I am get surprised, so I never expect others to fulfill my secret judgments.

From having been on both ends of the spectrum of beautiful and not (and when I say this I am not being cocky, but only explaining myself as that from my experience and interaction with others that have led me to believe so.  I also know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so of course I have also found MANY people who do not think I am beautiful, which is an opinion they are perfectly entitled to).  I can use my own real life examples of the negative aspects of physical attractiveness:

1)  the men that I gravitate to (and my friends tease me about), are what I call the "hippy" types.... very laid back, liberal-minded, motivated to helping others, loves adventure, etc.  Now, as a reader, how many "hippy-type" guys have you seen with a tall athletic blonde with fake boobs??????   That's right.  Probably none.  The type of men I attract are mostly NOT the types that I am attracted to.  The type of men I am attracted to don't give me the light of day.  And why?  Judgments about my looks.  I remember in one of my classes I met a "hippy-type" guy by chance, but only because he was a laid back funny guy that our conversation first started with him asking me how many more things I could stuff into my backpack (it was VERY full, because I actually had my gym clothes in there to go to the gym right after class).  It continued from then on, and we became pretty good friends.  After talking for a while, I asked him what his first impression of me was, and he responded with exactly what I expected; snobby, stuck up, ditzy girl.  This guy who I stopped talking to over a year ago now, is still to this day the most recent one I legitimately liked.  We hung out at least 3 times a week for a long time, always with him initiating.  We never hooked up, but eventually he completely stopped answering my calls.  It went from one day, to nothing.  I still have never figured this one out and I am not sure if it was from judgment, or from his lack of confidence because I remember his brothers meeting me and telling him I was too good for him, which was definitely not the case.  Anyway,  to summarize, the person I am inside doesn't really match up with what you expect from the outside, so finding anyone I really connect with is a slim chance.

2)  I happen to have a heavy foot, and when it comes to speeding tickets, everyone assumes that cops let off pretty girls easy.  Unfortunately, I think that some cops actually think that, and to reverse the trend, give me a ticket.  I am one speeding ticket away from getting my license suspended, and trust me I have begged and cried my way through them, only to receive a blank stare and that familiar piece of paper from the cops pad of tickets. 

3)  The worst of all to deal with is judgments from teachers.  I recently went to speak with a person at my University who is in charge of a study abroad trip to Niger, Africa.  This trip is very different from the rest, because it is a service trip, so rather than going to another country to learn about their culture, we go and help the students at the only University the country has to start their own businesses.  I really pride myself in being a nice, giving, and morally correct person (and I do not believe morals come from religion!!!!!).  I have volunteered to help the less fortunate before, and I will take any opportunity to if I am free and it is offered to me.  Well, when I brought up applying for the trip (which only accepted 10 students out of all the applicants), the professor gave me this look.  Perhaps she was doing it unconsciously, but it wasn't the LEAST BIT discreet what was on her mind.  She continued with speaking and smiling, with a deep breath, "You know, this trip isn't like the others.  It's going to be a bit of a shock.  You don't learn about businesses, if anything the most business you will experience is an open air market.  and the hotels aren't 5star."  I was utterly shocked that she was basically trying to talk me out of wanting to go!!!!!!  Obviously, if I had came to her about the trip, and read the information on the pamphlet that said to contact her, OF COURSE I already knew about the conditions of Niger, and the basic outline of the trip.  It was because I was walking in there with my Chanel sunglasses on my head, and my designer backpack, blonde hair, fake boobs, that she assumed this trip was not for me.  Little to her knowledge, I have been to poor countries before and experienced the conditions.  Finally when I went back to her another day I informed her that I was bilingual and spoke French; the main language in Niger.  All of a sudden, her eyes lit up like I had never seen them before, and she began to explain to me how they were looking for a French major to serve as a translator, but the university wouldn't approve it for credits towards that major (my major is international business and business administration).  I turned out to be exactly what she needed and didn't think she would have been able to find.  Well, let me tell you, it was like being with a completely different person after that point.  From then on, she was always extremely nice to me, very helpful, and always with a smile on her face.

So, now that my hands are getting tired and I still need to get to the gym today, I guess I just wanted to show some people that its not always so great to be physically appealing.  Don't get me wrong, I still wouldn't have it any other way and I consider myself VERY lucky to have the motivation/money to keep myself this way.  But, there are a lot of obstacles I have to beat in order to get people to see the real me.  It's a challenge to make friends with people I get along with intellectually, and I'm constantly fighting stereotypes.  Some people have said that I shouldn't "try so hard" with my looks, but I am unwilling to conform.  Why would I need to be the one to conform and match my looks to my personality just for everybody else????? I could never do it.  If people don't give me the light of day, then it is their loss.  I would rather wait to find people who can accept me for me, than to change myself to be accepted. 

That's all for now :)

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